Hi, I am Curline and I am a lunatic that talk to trees. Well technically, I talk to plants (not just trees). Ahhh, it feels so liberating to finally say that out loud (or as loud as words on a screen can be).
For those who watched The Lunatic (the popular 1991 Jamaican movie), a picture of Aloysius, the affable village “mad man” may come to mind. He spoke to animals and plants alike and, for us Jamaicans, only someone who has “lost a screw” would dare to do that. From an early age, we have been taught to embrace and live by the rules society deems to be “normal”.
We are expected to forego the sad reality that many (if not all) of us have to suppress the truth of who we are so that we may proudly display this “normal” badge. This badge is what gets us so-called ‘good’ jobs, promotions, and social acceptance. In reality, we are walking around like whitewashed graves, beautiful on the outside yet teeming with the stench of death on the inside.
Loneliness is a constant companion. The psychologist Carl Jung said, Loneliness does not come from having any people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
For me, that loneliness was quite familiar. I lived a pretty compartmentalized life sharing different parts of me based on who I was conversing with. I was active in religious and social gatherings but never felt safe enough to be ME.
My mental health was being compromised. Inside there was this turmoil and sadness I could only talk to myself about.
Oops, that’s another sign….talking to myself .
The World Health Organization (WHO) defines Mental Health as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.
How could I realize my own potential if I wasn’t expressing my true self? If our society wants citizens who are productive and fruitful and contributing to the country in a meaningful way; the pressure and expectation to fit in with the programming masquerading as normalcy must be abandoned. I am by no means advocating anarchy, but rather a system where citizens are encouraged to express their unique gifts. There is nothing unique, empowering, or productive about playing roles so one is able to “fit in”.
The internal struggle I faced and the subsequent decision to live as my true SELF
became real when I thought about what my sons would be learning from me by osmosis. It was incumbent on me to make my contribution to breaking the cycle and effecting change as it relates to mood disorders that develop as a result of the suppression of one’s authentic SELF.
The change had to begin with me, and it did. When one makes the decision and starts taking the necessary step or steps towards desired change, assistance comes. God/Infinite Intelligence/The Creator maneuvers people and events to work with you when you are ready to do the work. This is both comforting and encouraging. A friend, in what seems and feels to be a miracle, re-entered my life at the time I needed someone other than myself to talk to. It really helps to have someone who has gone through a similar experience to assist in providing clarity and support when needed. I still had to be cognizant of the fact that it was still MY JOURNEY and MY PATH so only I could do the necessary work.
So what did I do? I got to really know myself by facing the darkness and sadness on the inside. My mind was and still is my greatest ally in living and creating freely.
Napoleon Hill has been credited with documenting how to use our six mental faculties to create the results we would love.
These six mental faculties are:
- imagination
- intuition
- will
- memory
- perception and
- reason.
It was his understanding that people would see the transformation when these gifts were used consciously. Procrastination, lacking self-confidence, second-guessing, and the inability to make clear decisions were evidence of misuse and he listed more confidence, cutting away from who or what no longer serves you, and living an authentic life as being the results of using these gifts in a definite way.
In a definite way… I, began by creating in my mind (imagination) a vivid picture of me living authentically took my cue from my inner teacher (intuition) resolved to stay the course in the face of distraction and or discouragement (will) constantly brought to mind that which I mentally created and was taking steps to bring about (memory) viewed every situation and any would-be obstacle as a teacher and as such an opportunity for growth (perception) and sought truth by silently asking questions regarding motives, situations, and decisions (reason).
Like Carl Jung, I believe that life is a journey of transformation to meet the SELF and the Divine at the same time. My meeting of SELF and the Divine has enabled me to no longer be held captive by the definition placed on me by well-intentioned loved ones and realize my own true potential by living as my authentic SELF.
People often make expressions like “I can’t live without you and you are the air that I
breathe”, when talking to their mates. Our society normalizes and accepts this behavior even though it literally isn’t true.
Truth is I cannot live without plants/trees and the air that I breathe is possible because of them.
I am Curline, and I talk to trees.
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The war of the mind often seeks release, not for opinions,judgement or criticism but simply wanting to be heard. I find this relatively simple yet profound exercise extremely therapeutic and though they never answer it’s often when we feel most satisfied knowing we were heard… thank you for this beautiful piece.
Absolutely Paul! The answers we seek are within. This truth underscores the importance of having conversations with the SELF. That’s the place for honesty, freedom, lack of judgement, and clarity.
….You are welcome.
I too, am sometimes in limbo with MY SELF. Moving from one country to the another has been quite hard and I have found that I am constantly struggling internally and questioning me. We are a product of our environment and sometimes when that environmement and all that it encompasses changes, it can break and reduce you to nothing and leave you questioning, MY SELF.
Trying to be my authentic self again is very hard, especially in new surroundings, but it is something that must be done to have complete happiness.
I understand your conflict Mickey. I too left my country of birth and is now living in another country. The struggle you have shared is real. We are tasked with the responsibility however, to NOT be products of our environment as this is in direct contrast with being our authentic SELF.
Living from our place of divinity and authenticity (so from the INSIDE to the OUTSIDE) is the necessary precursor to living an abundantly satisfying life.
Wow!!! So profound and enlightening. The way we view life really affects our well-being in many ways. I learnt from this and i am continuing to learn from you Curline. Continue doing what you do!
Thanks for your continued support Michere.
trees are pretty cool in general. they like hugs too.
That’s absolutely true Owen. They like hugs too and if you put your ear against the tree while hugging….hhhmm…amazing things should be expected 🙂