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What To Do After A Breakup?: The Impacts Of A Heartbreak 

What To Do After A Breakup?:  The Impacts Of A Heartbreak

I would tell you to close your eyes, but then how would you read the prompt? Just imagine then. Imagine the excruciating, heartrending, mouth-numbing pain that you feel in the moment when your heartbreak. The impression of hurt when the person you love has left you. How dare the love of your life just abandon you like that? Don’t they know you had plans for the relationship?

Heartbreak is an inevitable phenomenon that every human being must go through. It is an overwhelming feeling of sadness and emotional suffering. Once we place ourselves in a situation where we give more than we receive, we set ourselves up for heartbreak. Poet David Whyte extrapolates heartbreak so attractively; he believes

“heartbreak is our indication of sincerity: in a love relationship, in work, in trying to learn a musical instrument, in the attempt to shape a better more generous self. Heartbreak is the beautifully helpless side of love and affection and is just as much essence and emblem of care as the spiritual athlete’s quick but abstract ability to let go. Heartbreak has its own way of inhabiting time and its own beautiful and trying patience in coming and going.”


Heartbreak does not only cause you to feel sadness and grief, but it can also affect other parts of your body. These are some things that happen when your heart breaks:

  • Your brain believes that you are physically hurt.
    • Functional Magnetic Resonance Imagery (fMRI) studies conducted with people suffering from heartbreak have shown that the same area in the brain that “lights up” when we experience physical pain, is the same area that lights up when we experience heartbreak. Also, some people consider heartbreak to be intolerable, and while physical pain won’t remain at that intense degree for a long time, heartbreak can continue for months. This is why heartbreak is so extreme and should not be taken lightly.
  • You develop an eating disorder.
    • People deal with heartbreak differently. There are some who will use food as a form of comfort, as they cry while listening to an endless stream of sad songs, to ensure their sadness is intact. There are others who are so distracted that they cannot find it in themselves to even think about eating; food becomes somewhat repulsive to them.
The physical impacts of experiencing a heartbreak, as well as offer some mantras of picking up the pieces after a breakup.
  • You are bathing in stress hormones.
    • When you are in love, your body releases dopamine and oxytocin, which allows you to experience feelings of euphoria. However, when you are experiencing heartbreak, those hormones become replaced with stress hormones, like cortisol and epinephrine. If the feeling of heartbreak continues for an extended period, then a surplus of cortisol will communicate to the brain to send an abundance of blood to your muscles. This will create tension in your muscles and eventually cause headaches and that uncomfortable squeeze in your chest.
  • You experience withdrawal.
    • Another fMRI study has shown that the same mechanisms that are triggered in the brain when cocaine addicts are experiencing withdrawal are the same mechanisms that are triggered by heartbreak. Like the drug addict, the symptoms of heartbreak create the inability to fully focus and/or function. Fortunately, the symptoms will dwindle, and you will get better—life will get better!
  • You need to avoid being alone.
    • Remember that during a heartbreak, excess stress hormones are released into the body. You will begin to crave solitude, but you cannot let that happen. The best thing to do is to go out and have some fun; do what you love to get those dopamine levels up! It might seem like the most unimaginable thing to do, but to heal, this is something you must do!


Getting through heartbreak takes dedication and a lot of self-reliance. The ex-love of your life does not know how much you are hurting. They don’t know how much you are changing. They just do not understand. These mantras will be the stepping stone that you need to get you out of your pit of hurt:

Your life was wonderful and joyful before they were in it; it will be wonderful and joyful now that they are gone.

Do you remember how amazing your life was before you got into a relationship? You were not dependent on your partner and life was just full of bliss. After experiencing heartbreak, your views would have changed, but joy is still in the picture for you. Your duty now is to renew your mindset and do everything in your power to be happy again. Understand and accept that you are worthy of love, you are beautiful, and you are amazing. It is possible to get back to this place. If you want it, you can get it!

Everything happens for a reason.

Life may be a bed of roses right now, but you never know what could happen down the road. Your partner just might reveal that he/she was not the roses you had hoped for, but instead, they are the thorns that prick your side each day. There is a time for everything and everything happens for a reason. With that said, sometimes you can be in a relationship with the right person but at the wrong time, and that will cause hell to reign in that relationship. What is for you will never not be for you—so live your life and love yourself. What is to happen, will!

Some good things must come to an end, to make room for greater things!

In life, we tend to refuse to acknowledge disguised blessings. Even though it seems like everything is perfect and life could not get any better, there are things that must end for you to elevate. Don’t think of a relationship ending as the end of the world. More so, think of it as you are overcoming an obstacle that will get you to the place you need to be with the person you are destined to be with.

P.S. heartbreak will only last for a while, joy is forever. And although you are down and out right now, joy is yours if you want it!

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