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How To Build A Healthy Relationship With Yourself 

How To Build A Healthy Relationship With Yourself

Let me set the tone for this article, Alexa play ‘Rise Up’ by Andra Day.

The Caterpillar Stage

Just like the butterfly, everyone has been through various circumstances which made them who they are today—let us call it The Caterpillar Stage. Whether they have gone through a traumatic experience as a child or have had people lie to them their entire life, whatever the situation is, it normally leaves an individual’s mind and spirit broken.

This brokenness can cause them to have negative thoughts towards themselves which results in an unhealthy relationship within. When negativity becomes your foundation, then negativity is what you will project into the world. Therefore a healthy relationship with yourself is important when forming bonds with others, as well as improving your well-being.

Please note that it is impossible to fully accept and appreciate love from others when you can’t fully love yourself. As such, when someone comes along and wishes to be a part of your life, whether as a friend or a lover, you will in some way, push them away. Did you know that having a great self-relationship can determine how altruistic you become? Yep, being happy with yourself will release positivity in the world. You become more selfless, more kind, and that same energy will return to you! Isn’t that amazing?

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen ChboskyThe Perks of Being a Wallflower

A couple of years ago, I was at an all-time low. The relationship I had with myself was so toxic, that if I were another person, I would cut them off faster than they could blink. I cursed myself daily and honestly, it hurt. Positivity was never considered when thinking about myself. I blamed myself for everything— “sorry” was my favorite word, and I felt ugly.

If someone told me that I was beautiful, it would immediately go to the trash bin in my brain because the same way I felt on the inside, was the same way I saw myself on the outside. And that was that on that! Honestly, I never thought I’d see the day where I was happy on the inside and out – the day I felt whole. Listen, you don’t know how important a healthy relationship with yourself is until you have experienced it.

Why it is important to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself and the different stages in order to have and live a fulfilling life.

Build A Healthy Relationship: Metamorphosis

It is of paramount importance that you are kind and understanding to yourself. I want you to stop and think for a minute—would you want to be friends with someone who talks to you, how you talk to you? If the answer is yes, good job! However, if the answer is no, then you have some work to do. Below are some steps that you can adopt to create a healthy bond with yourself:

Build a healthy relationship by setting a goal.

  • Set a long-term goal that will gear you towards having a better relationship with yourself. Please understand that your requirements will change as time progresses, and you will have to adjust.

Start doing things alone.

  • The moment I started doing things alone, was so empowering for me. I understood myself more, and my level of confidence increased. It is a big step to start doing things on your own, especially when you are always with friends.
  • Go to the movies, or take yourself out for dinner, trust me, you deserve it!

Make time for yourself!

  • It is time that you prioritize yourself. Take a day and just pamper yourself- create a facial routine (don’t forget the Witch Hazel), wash your hair, moisturize your cuticles. Listen, it is your time to shine!
  • Do not overexert yourself. Sleep, nutrition, rest, and fun are important for a healthy relationship with yourself. You need to maintain a balance, and that means being fair to your body and inner self.

Build A Healthy Relationship: The Butterfly

Creating a healthy relationship with yourself is one of the most important and rewarding things you can ever do—it can literally alter your outlook on life. Before I had established a healthy self-relationship, I would always see the world in black and white. I was existing, and I felt as though I had no purpose, but thank God that all changed when the bond with myself was created! I started to see the world with renewed sight –  a world of color just waiting to be explored.

I want you to think about the journey. Like a caterpillar, you don’t know your worth and you feel as though you are broken. But then you go through a process that transforms your life for the better—you begin setting goals for yourself, understanding and accepting who you are, and you start loving you. After that transformation, your prize awaits you and you change into a beautiful butterfly!

The butterfly symbolizes the limitless opportunities that you now have; you are no longer burdened by self-doubt, anger, and all the other negative pests that have held you captive. You now know your worth, who you are, what you deserve, and no one can stop you! It is time to spread your wings, little butterfly!

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1 Comment

  1. Sabrina Anderson

    You go girl Lubb your article, keep up the good work.

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