How To Start Over In Life: Steps To Begin At The End
It’s no secret that a lot of great stories are born out of even more difficult endings. Endings are as natural a life process like any other and are a pivotal part of any kind of change in life as we know it. One thing is for certain, as with change, endings to certain situations in life are often inevitable and unavoidable. However, they can become very valuable, teachable moments in life that propel you to exactly where you need to be and who you need to become. Just because something in our lives has ended, whether it’s your job, your career, or a relationship, doesn’t mean that we can’t create something beautiful from the end of it. Often, endings mean that we have the opportunity to look at and assess where we are, how far we’ve come, and then find hope in new beginnings.
You’re always allowed to begin again and It’s absolutely okay starting over with whatever you feel is no longer positively serving you. Even if something ends abruptly, without you really having a say in how things have happened, you’re still allowed to give yourself that agency and permission to start fresh. You have the opportunity to choose to curate the life that you want from that point moving forward. An important question to ask ourselves is “How can we begin at the end?”
Tackling The Fear of Uncertainty When Starting Over
It’s no doubt that one of the hardest parts of closing a chapter of your life to begin anew, is the fear of uncertainty. It is definitely easier said than done to close the door on something that provides a sense of stability and security in your life, to dive into the open waters of the life that you’re trying to create. It does seem like the logical thing to do: stay comfortable and safe where you are, instead of taking the risk in the pursuit of an alternative that could somehow give more meaning to your life.
The unknown is scary, especially because it means letting go of what is certain to make you vulnerable. How can we even begin to quantify meaning? Many of us believe that if we let go of our resistance to change and allow things to go in a different direction, the result will automatically be failure, instability, and chaos. If we could only loosen our grip and control on the plans that we have for our lives, then we may create space for amazing new beginnings. That begins with letting go of our self-doubt, expectations, and possible limitations, and being okay with going with the flow of life, trusting that you will find your way.
Letting Go To Begin At The End
There’s typically a lot of shame around choosing a different path in our lives, and that shame often comes from being judged by the people we care about the most: our family, friends, and peers. Walking down the path that isn’t often walked can sometimes feel scary and lonely, but it’s ultimately up to us to shift our focus from what could possibly go wrong to what could go right instead. Our vice grip on the outcomes we think should happen is a disservice to ourselves and leaves no room for personal growth and the creation of the best version of yourself.
When we open ourselves up to being okay with being vulnerable, we can better explore how we feel about a particular ending in our lives without judgment, while working on the release of those feelings. It takes immense strength and courage to lay yourself bare, against everything you know, to go down a different path, and there’s no shame in doing that. Our path will always come with uncertainty and risk, but also love, happiness, and celebration. Instead of carrying the heavy weight of fear around with you on your journey, try letting go and treading lightly on the path to a better you. Try leaving your fear and the past in the past. Walk through the door remembering to close it behind you.
Dealing With Self Doubt
A common thing we may also face when learning how to begin at the end is how to move past self-doubt. It’s easy for us to doubt ourselves when we’re embarking on a new journey because time and space are created for self-assessment and truly seeing ourselves for who we are can be scary. Self-doubt can come to us in many forms where we begin to feel like imposters on the path to becoming our best selves. Often, these doubts are actually a projection of the judgment of the people around us. People normally seek security inside their comfort zones and discourage anything outside of it. Moving outside of your comfort zone is indeed a threatening act. If you surround yourself with people that hold you to very rigid and non-flexible standards, it encourages self-doubt when we don’t meet those expectations. It’s important for us to shift our focus from our limitations and what we don’t have yet, to the possibility of what we can become if we trust in ourselves.
Instead Of Focusing On What We Can’t Do, Here’s What We Can Do:
- Accept what is – When we accept what has happened, and the discomfort that comes with it, we are making room for growth to take place within us. However hard it may be, making peace with the present moment is taking a step in the right direction, because that means that we can then focus on the now, and the direction that we want our lives to go in.
- Be present – Practicing daily mindfulness and being present is powerful in the way that it provides us with the opportunity to see where we really are in the present moment. When we stay present, we can assess ourselves without judgment, and think of ways to get closer to the person we want to become.
- Cultivate a spirit of gratitude – Start with gratitude. Being grateful for what you already have is a good way to develop the mindset for receiving more. It’s a matter of perspective and gratitude is the foundation that we can build ourselves on, going forward.
- Be patient – Starting over is never usually easy, but we have to understand that building and developing takes energy, time, and patience. Being gentle and patient with yourself in the meantime is a very important part of the self-care necessary during the rebuilding process.
- Start small – When creating the life that we want, it’s easy to feel stuck and like we have no idea what we’re doing. We tend to overwhelm ourselves with all the things that we think we should be doing, which doesn’t always bode well for our future. Creating a schedule and starting with small steps on your journey will eventually add up over time. This will also reduce the stress and dread of tackling overwhelming tasks.
Curating The Life That You Want
Finding purpose in life begins with asking ourselves “what kind of life do I want to create for myself?” Plan and envision where you want to be, keeping in mind the things that you want to do. From there, consciously choose to follow that path with intention and purpose behind it. Detach from everything going exactly as planned, let go of the fear of failure, trust in yourself, and continue to make steady strides towards your becoming regardless of setbacks.
Take a holistic approach to take care of yourself along the way, making sure to check in with yourself about how you move through the world. It’s important to understand that failure is a natural and important part of life that everyone will at some point come in contact with. That doesn’t mean that we have to give up on trying because we may face it one way or the other. The life you’re trying to create is often on the other side of fear, Trust in yourself so deeply, that regardless of what may come your way, and whatever endings may come, you will always have the courage to begin again.
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