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Learn How To Love Yourself More: Stop Searching For Love 

Learn How To Love Yourself More: Stop Searching For Love

Let It Unfold

Our concept of love is essentially formed through our experiences. The way we are treated and cared for can often determine how we eventually choose to love and give love. Unanimously defined, love is often simultaneously linked with matters and affairs of the heart. However, according to Merriam Webster “love is a strong affection for another, arising out of kinship or personal ties, or attraction based on sexual desires; affection and tenderness felt by lovers.”

Those who experience the feeling of being unloved, they may suffer extreme emotional and mental disturbances. As a result, they search for it in people, things, and among other phenomena. What they initially fail to do is perhaps search for the love that is born within them. I once defined love as “an undefined equation, solved only through one’s experiences and feelings. Formless, within us and expressible.” Love often paves the way for how we form relationships, interact with our friends and our significant others. Taking into consideration all other feelings and emotions, love can influence our emotions whether it be positively or negatively. 

For the persons who search for love, how is it that we find an intangible presence? The same way we expect to seek and find it from others is the same way in which we can seek and find said it within us. It is a grueling and frustrating task to believe we are unloved and go on a journey to find love everywhere else except within us. Or. in the natural occurrence of things around us. The more intense and unending this journey the more we tend to lack in mental and emotional wellness. We pick up poor habitual behaviors and negative emotions as coping mechanisms, reducing our overall ability to be functional on a day-to-day basis.

It’s Within Me

Self-love is having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. It will help to reduce or resolve the way we feel about being unloved. This will essentially enhance our emotional and mental wellness by inspiring self-care, relaxation, stress reduction and the development of inner strength when coupled with emotional intelligence. What we do not need in 2019 is to be our lowest self, stressed out, and lacking confidence. 

The world is currently at our fingertips and what that means, is we can find countless opportunities for growth and interactions. Not the usual, unsubstantial interactions! I speak of interactions that are classy, life-enhancing, teachable, provide the utmost relaxation, and mobility. The meaningfulness of these new interactions make way for new ways of thinking and seeing the world boldly in colors and not simply black and white.

Learn how to love yourself before reaching for someone else to love us. Acknowledge that what you've been aching for was there all along.

That means we can find love within ourselves, right? We have avenues to reach out to persons we think may be able to help us, whether it is a friendly stranger, therapist, counselor, or just having our best friends on the go (The Great Age of Social Media). What is the love within me one may idly ask? For the purpose of this article, the love within me refers to the love we give unconditionally to persons around us, whether it is a friend or a stranger.

For those who do not feel loved, we spend much of our time searching and searching for “love”, unaware of the notion that we are not even expressing that of which we seek. How then do we expect to find it for ourselves?

Letting It Unfold

To answer the question, we need to know love for ourselves. How we define it, how we imagine it, how we want to feel it and how we want others to feel when we express it to them. (Remember, I did define it as undefined, right?). We can all agree that our concept of love is all aligned. Meaning, we attribute it to something beautiful, meaningful and of a feel-good essence. With that in mind, we are now aware that we are seeking the same feeling. 

So we disintegrate the anger, the hate, and the hurt as we seek more meaningful loving experiences. If we continue to hold these negative emotions while we search for love, we can block ourselves from truly seeing or accepting it from others. This is so because all we know is the negative emotions we carry.

In small instances, we begin to show love to others who may be experiencing the same issues we are. We begin to change a cycle of unloved-ness and searching for it in unlikely places. Michael Jackson’s famous song Man in the Mirror highlights how important it is for us to change certain things. It starts by changing things within us and around us if we wish to experience or see other things change.

Ultimately, it is important to always remember that if we want to feel love, see love and experience being a source of love, we must always remember to express the same level unconditionally to others. Subsequently allowing it to manifest and develop to different kinds of love, including our favorite, unrequited love.

A food for your thought. You are loved, unconditionally. Always, All ways.

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