I Got Ghosted: How To Get Over Being Ghosted?
Have you ever met someone new who had the potential to be more than a stranger? Were they everything you expected and more? Several weeks go by and you are enjoying each other’s company and steadily getting to know one another. However, after you’ve developed an emotional connection with the person, they disappear. You don’t hear from them again. You’ve reached out through social media, texts, and phone calls but you don’t get a response. When that person disappears, you wonder if anything happened to them. You wonder if they are okay or something tragic happened to them. It just leaves you wondering, and you never get an answer to that. Well, if you’ve experienced this, then, unfortunately, you were ghosted.
What You Experience After You’ve Been Ghosted
What exactly does it mean to be ghosted? Well, it involves a person cutting off all communication with you without an explanation, while pretending that the other person doesn’t exist. Ghosting sucks because you are left in the land of the unknown wondering what would make them just disappear. Usually, we turn inward and ask ourselves a thousand questions, trying to find one reason as to why. We ponder if it was something that we said, did, or whether it was our appearance. We may never receive the answer and we have to be okay with that. But we can’t allow someone else’s choice to leave us to think less of ourselves.
I think if we looked at the situation differently, in a more positive outlook, it may have been the best thing for us to be ghosted. Someone who can leave you without an explanation does not care for you and they have not reached a high-enough level of emotional maturity to be a romantic partner. Ghosting causes us emotional pain, but it can also bring on physical pain. Being ghosted is heartbreaking because we are experiencing social rejection. When a person is ghosted and they have not healed from previous experiences of social rejection, it is like pouring salt into an open wound. Their self-esteem takes a real hit.
Focus On Your Value
I came across this meme on Instagram which said, “Their rejection has nothing to do with your value.” The saying is absolutely true. Some of us determine our worth based on who accepts or does not accept us. It is not healthy to do this because we are placing our worth in their hands. We have to determine our own worth and not allow the opinions of others to do so.
Transparent moment, I’ve ghosted people before too. I’m not going to excuse myself at all. I was a terrible person for doing so. I learned my lesson when someone I cared for and loved, ghosted me. Y’all I was hurt and devastated. I did wonder if something happened to them. I was reassured that they were okay when I saw that they posted on their social media page. So, I saw that they were alive and well. I was relieved that they were okay, but mad as hell because they just disappeared without an explanation.
We choose the ghosting option in an attempt to dodge the emotional effects that comes with ending a friendship or relationship. As someone who has ghosted people before, I never thought of the emotional pain I inflicted on them until it happened to me. We can easily walk away from someone, while our unexpected departure leaves them wounded. Also, when we do this, we rob them of closure. Honestly, no one should have to experience that type of emotional pain.
How To Get Over Being Ghosted?
It can be difficult to move on from such a loss as this. Any breakup can be devastating and heart wrenching. It is okay to grieve over the loss of a relationship, but we eventually have to move on from that state of grief. Do not allow this incident to prevent you from pursuing other romantic relationships. However, I do believe you should be cautious and smart with the next person. Be sure that both of you define what you are searching for in a relationship. If you define this early on, then you lessen your chances of being ghosted because you know what they want. If you do not fit the bill for what they want, then you can cut ties early and save yourself from heartache.
I always encourage others to see a therapist, so they can help you process your thoughts and feelings. Also, you may want to set some boundaries, if this person tends to come into and out of your life. I’m an advocate for setting boundaries because they will save your sanity even though it may not feel good when you implement them.
You need boundaries for that person who frequently texts you but then they disappear for a few weeks and then they start texting you heavily again. You simply need to say, “Hey, I do not appreciate it when you text me constantly and then disappear. You’re sending mixed signals. You need to decide if you want to be a part of my life or not because I will not tolerate the back and forth.” Now, that may be harsh to some, but you have to stand firm and let them know that they can’t disrespect you and treat you in any kind of way.
Moving on is hard but you will get through this moment. You can always learn a lesson from a heartache. Learn your lessons and take what you learn to navigate your next relationship. Please know that you are worthy and deserving of love. It is my desire for you to heal from this experience and move forward in love.
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