Nothing is quite as exciting as signing onto a dating app for the first time. Customizing your profile, swiping around, and getting your first couple of matches makes even the most serious of individuals feel just a little giddy. No matter the particular app, you’ve just entered an entirely new world with the potential for dates galore. As the initial butterflies wear off and you start settling into the rhythm of online dating, however, you realize that the beat of the music isn’t exactly what you prefer to dance to.
Dating apps can be overwhelming yet seem pointless at the same time. There’s this feeling of dread that blankets over the entire experience once insecurities rise to the surface. Maintaining self-confidence and worth could become difficult, jeopardizing your mental health in the process.
So what’s the trick? Being in a constant tug of war between wanting to delete everything entirely and wanting to remain on the platform for those random periods of boredom, isn’t the best state to be stuck in. Here are some things to note when using popular dating apps while making sure you aren’t compromising your mental health in the process:
- Stop Judging Yourself
A common problem amongst most women using dating apps is the negative stigma they attach to it. Outside of liberalized college students and the bold-at-heart, many women are seemingly uncomfortable disclosing their active participation in the dating app world.
“I never tell people I met my girlfriend on Bumble,”
says Elizabeth, a 24-year-old sales representative.
“It was hard enough for me to come out and I always imagined my first relationship to start somewhat romantically, not in a swipe.”
The act of swiping has, in theory, killed the idea of romance. But does that have to be the case? Isn’t there something even a smidge romantic of seeing a picture of your significant other for the first time one random afternoon and thinking “Wow, I’d really like to get to know you?”
In contrast to the judgment certain women correlate to online dating, surveys have found that six in ten people think positively of dating apps and couples that meet online. The negative correlation no longer seems to be societally forced since 47% of people agree meeting people online is efficient. The judgment women hold within themselves towards dating apps and meeting partners online, possibly relates to their habit of being judgmental towards themselves.
Loving yourself isn’t the easiest of tasks for most, and coming to terms with your own attempts at branching out is difficult to do so without inflicting judgment on yourself. With that said, in order to enjoy your time using popular dating apps, you will need to be easier on yourself. Actively attempt to remove the judgment you have placed on yourself by coming to terms with the particular needs you have that could be satisfied by dating apps. Understand that you are your biggest critic and in order to happily live your life, you’ll need to release your inhibitions on your own time.
- Recognize What You Want
Popular dating apps provide a platform to meet people we would otherwise never meet. It’s meant to connect people in local areas to start relationships, friendships, or other arrangements that mutually work best for them. While the possibilities of meeting hundreds of people in a night might make dating apps seem the most efficient way to find exactly what you’re looking for, consider that everyone’s looking for something different. Understanding exactly what it is you want out of your dating app experience will make it infinitely better.
Certain users disclose their intentions in the biography of their profile to ensure match compatibility. If all you’re looking for is a particular type of arrangement, disclosing it on your profile would be a good way to weed out those not compatible with you.
Dating apps don’t always provide one sort of relationship type. You could find what it is you’re looking for online or in real life. It all depends on how you approach each situation.
- Remember Your Self-Worth
It’s impossible to shield yourself from being “ghosted” or having your feelings hurt by dating apps. Just like in real life, there’s no guarantee that every experience will be great online. The main thing to keep in mind is that your self-worth is not dictated by those you meet online.
“I think I just hate how impersonal it all feels,”
22-year-old Tabitha confides.
“The detached conversations make me think bad of myself and that I’m doing everything wrong.”
There’s no right or wrong way of approaching dating apps. When putting yourself out there on dating apps, it is common to feel insecure. Studies have shown that users of popular dating apps are more likely to have self-esteem issues due to either rejection or the effects of a superficial culture.
We all struggle with self-love and confidence. It is a common battle everyone faces in their lives. The most important thing to remember is to always place your mental health first and if dating apps are causing you to have serious insecurities, it might be time for a break from them. If you would like to continue using dating apps but are struggling with self-esteem issues, don’t forget that your self-worth is not determined by the dating app or the users.
Conclusions: Popular Dating Apps And Mental Health
If you enjoy dating apps and are feeling like you hit a slump, it’s natural to want to take a break from them. Never let your own judgments of yourself stop you from doing things you enjoy. Acknowledge what it is you need and want from dating apps before becoming completely discouraged. Don’t be afraid to be upfront about what it is you expect from dating apps in matches, it is your priority to keep yourself happy at all times. And lastly, at the end of the day, an app is just an app. You should never compromise your mental health for an experience that is causing you to be insecure. There’s nothing wrong with you if dating apps just aren’t for you.
In order for your experience to become as personalized to yourself as possible, make sure you go into it understanding yourself, your needs, and your worth.
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