Self Pleasure: Kicking The Stigma Of Female Masturbation 

The M-word, masturbation (women self pleasure), can be a very touchy subject. It still remains a major taboo despite the fact that the world has become more open about sexuality. This idea of touching yourself can make even the most stoic person blush from embarrassment, more so female masturbation. Interestingly, though, many persons do enjoy the occasional rub-a-dub but prefer to have others believing they do not. Why? Scientists suggest that it is completely healthy, but we still hesitate or experience immense waves of shame afterward. 

Stigma Surrounding Self Pleasure

There is a great amount of stigmatization surrounding masturbation. It begins as a limited, or nonexistent, discussion of sexuality whilst growing up, and often transitions into avoidance in adulthood. The negative connotation is not anything new and can be seen throughout history. In the past, it was considered to be so horrible, that individuals would be severely punished or executed for engaging in it. Medical journals published sweeping claims stating that the act could result in warts, blindness, and even epilepsy. 

So, what is the source of all this harsh energy? Majority of the Stigma stems from religion. It is stated by spiritual leaders that masturbation is wrong. In other words, it is a sin. Still, there is the nagging question of why?  Lust is usually the answer. The desirous thoughts that lead to persons touching themselves are seen as sinful and, through abstinence, they are prevented from corrupting the mind. Additionally, God did not make you and your hand, but man and woman, to be fruitful and multiply. 

Anything that deviates from this belief is typically classified as immoral. There is this story about this man Onan, who is supposed to create a baby with his brother’s widow, but instead pulls out, spills his seed, and is struck dead. This is the only given evidence in the Bible somewhat concerning masturbation but can be heavily put into question. The truth is there is little provided to derive a moral viewpoint about masturbation. It does not physically hurt anyone. In actuality, it is arguably the safest sexual act there is and allows for sexual discovery, so why is it still considered so wrong?

Female Sexuality: A Taboo

Female sexuality on a whole is a sensitive matter. Similar to masturbation, its discussion is often neglected and results in widespread confusion and hostility, especially among men. Men can be openly sexual with little to no judgment, but if a woman is, the response is nasty looks and name-calling, such as promiscuous, slut, whore – the list goes on. Masturbation is just the icing on the cake. When you live in a society where exacting a basic human function, pleasure, draws such disapproving attention it comes as no surprise when feelings of shame, low self-esteem, and even depression are increasingly attached to it. 

Male Dependence On Pleasure

There is also a dependence on the man in order to experience some sort of sexual gratification, which may not even occur during sexual intercourse. For sex to be deemed successful the man must ejaculate, experiencing the enjoyment that is not necessarily shared with the woman. This can leave his female counterpart at a great disadvantage and feeling used to simply fulfill the man’s needs. 

So, what does this have to do with touching yourself? In a culture where it is believed women must rely on men for sexual gratification, something many men fail to understand, why not allow the woman to discover how things work for herself? Why can’t she do something for herself? Why can’t she experience pleasure for herself, without the pressure of satisfying her partner?

Making The Most Of Your Self-Pleasure

There are so many benefits to masturbation, for both genders, but especially for females who are too often left high and dry. 

• To start it can improve your mood. Giving your body some love releases hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, the feel-good chemicals. The result is the relieving of stress. Your body becomes relaxed and your mind is flushed of the anxiety and worry that may have been making you feel down. 

• An additional kicker is better-quality sleep. Touching yourself releases pent up tension, inducing a period of relaxation which can also allow you to get more restful sleep. 

• Acting as a natural painkiller. Building up to and eventually having an orgasm increases the blood flow around the body, specifically to the brain and the female reproductive organs. This can help to soothe menstrual cramps and even headaches.

• Keeping things alive. If you are single or experiencing a long-distance relationship, self-stimulation can be one of the best ways to keep down there strong and healthy. This means that you are able to put your best foot forward when you decide to date, or your partner finally returns. 

• The simple act of touching also enhances your sex life. One of the key aims of masturbation is to figure out what you like. It represents a safe space for sexual discovery. I think one of the most important points to stress is that it is not just a speedy race to having an orgasm but enjoying the journey. You can try different touching styles, pressures and techniques to understand what works best for you. Making love, despite what all the books say, can be difficult if you are unaware of your partners wants and needs. By having this new-found knowledge, it is possible to communicate and explore each other even further, with a few extra tools in the belt. 

• Finally, masturbation is a great way to boost your self-esteem. Through this process, you are taking your sex life into your hands. You make the rules. There is greater self-awareness, as well as a strengthened bond between the mind and body. What this does is improves your capability to make decisions concerning your life. This is based on you taking control of something that has too long been held out of your grasp and looked down upon. By validating yourself, recognizing and satisfying your desires, your self-confidence develops, and self-esteem improves. This is not due to outside forces but instead begins from within and blossoms outwards. 

Guilt After Self-Pleasure

There is a guilt that sometimes occurs after masturbating that persons use as an argument for why it should not be done. The question that should be asked, however, is where does it originate from. Is it because of the act itself or is it because you are not conforming to the ideologies of others? You only get to live one life and you must spend it doing what is best for you, and that includes self-love. However, if you still find it difficult to overcome the guilt there are sex therapists available to guide you on this journey to healthy sexuality. 

Note: Anything in excess is not healthy. When masturbation begins to prevent you from fulfilling your responsibilities by interfering with your daily, professional or personal life, then it is an issue that needs to be addressed. 

Otherwise, just simply enjoy all parts of you.   

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